Warning: Please don't judge me for what I'm about to say. This is part of it.

For lunch today, a coworker of mine went to McDonald's and ate the following: Bacon double cheeseburger (570 calories), large fries (500 calories), hot cakes with butter and syrup (600 calories), and a Dr. Pepper (250 calories). Total: 1,920 calories. This single meal is more than I will eat on a normal day, but is the usual for my colleague, who happens to be the thinnest person I've ever seen. He drinks nightly, rarely exercises, and regularly eats meals like this or orders in a pizza (or some other kind of pizza shop product). I am not exaggerating.

This is not an encouraging post. This is an angry post. This is not fair, but it's reality. How do I deal with this? How do I not feel angry, jealous, and hopeless? Today, I had 1,785 mediocre calories and took a walk after dinner. It was fine. But he was able to eat like this and pay nothing for it? And when you throw in the fact that I do great today, take a walk, and then suffer from chest pain at the end of it, it just makes it all worse. Also, my wife is sitting on the couch eating an Oatmeal Creme Pie. I am not. Yet I can tell my body is gaining weight back daily and I feel powerless to stop it (love, I really do not begrudge you your Oatmeal Creme Pies).

I am so frustrated, but will keep going tomorrow. The journey continues. I will eat well, I will go to the gym, and then I will repeat it all again until the next discouraging weigh-in.